


Usurped Sense Of Mind

by CynicalBonehead



Category: Hiveswap
Genre: Drabble, Emotional Baggage, Fear of Death, Life Crisis, Light Angst, Minor panic attack, Sadstuck, Suicidal Ideation, Unresolved Emotional Tension, i guess, these tags are a mess but i have no idea of what to tag this with, very minor suicidal ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25491733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicalBonehead/pseuds/CynicalBonehead
Summary: Being Heiress and ruling the planet sure is glamorous for Trizza, but what happens when she's left alone with nothing but her thoughts?Her ideasHer insecuritiesHer fears.A short drabble of an emotional crisis that all Fuchsias of her caliber inherit unwillingly.
Kudos: 9





	Usurped Sense Of Mind

Gold plated, jewel studded heels were thrust at a nameless servant that stayed 7 steps behind Trizza. She demanded her luxury slippers on the double. With a sharp glare, the servant girl ran as fast she could and did what her lady requested. Even slipping them onto her ruler's foot. Trizza nudged the girl away, wanting to walk alone down the halls for once. A grin stretched on her face, fin to fin, as she watched the girl scuttle away like a frightened bug. With a deep breath of the atmosphere, Trizza strutted past numerous portraits of herself in flattering angles and outfits.  
There was no heiress quite as fair as her.  
There was no heiress as funny as her.  
None as clever. As tactful.

Except..  
The condesce's sign on a drone interrupted her train of thought. 

'Of course.' She mouthed silently. 

The drone made a confused noise as the Heiress just silently looked at it. She dismissed it and her stepped gradually got faster and faster..just as her mind was catching up to her. Trizza slammed her respiteblock doors shut and took some shaken breaths. What was there to worry about? She was at the top of the world literally and figuratively! Everything and everyone she could want would come at a snap of her fingers.  
She changed out of her signature dress and slipped on a day gown. The mere size of her wardrobe for once didn't make her feel any better. She gently applied her make up wipes to her face, she's made that mistake once and would not afford to make it again. Yet did it even matter? No matter how she looked there would be people out there who would copy her. Worship her. Compliment her. Trizza adored it all, yet somehow the ever growing feeling dissatisfaction would strangle her from behind out of nowhere. 

'Why won't it go away...? I've done everything. face masks, Shopping sprees, neighbor hood culling watches, spa days, massages, commissions for new paintings... I did send a couple of naysayers to death too...' Trizza pondered staring deep into her reflection. 

'What the fuck is wrong with you????' 

Her reflection indifferently just did the usual. Never give her the answers she wanted. No one could no matter what she ordered them to do. It was never what she truly wanted deep down. 

'This is such bullshit.' she'd tell herself. 

She made her way to balcony and wistfully leaned on the railing. The moon's were in progress of setting, not even waiting for her to come out and view them. A harsh reminder to her that there were things completely out of her control. The moons, the sun, the weather...her emotions...or her fate. With a heavy sigh, she relented and allowed the thoughts to speak up. There were things she really needed to consider, like what she would do to make her reign memorable to the planet. Would she even stand a chance against The Condesce? The thought terrified her... the idea of everything she worked so hard for, the things she built up, the legacy she had to forge herself..could be snuffed out with the end of her trident. Would the people even remember her? Would the next heiress be so much better, that Trizza's name would fade from their minds? Just another name on the failed heiress list of HUNDREDS of trolls like her. She'd be nothing but a joke. Of course if she won, she would have so many things in mind. Yet her heart would sink at the idea for some reason. Did the idea of seizing total control of the empire terrify her? It shouldn't. She ran Alternia just fine. 

There was always that chance she would win, yet that list of dead heiresses stood as nothing but an entity of discouragement of her attempt. If she died before then it'd be more of a joke. She could hear it so clearly  
"Heiress couldn't handle the duties so she didn't wait for The Empress to get here! How pathetic. We'll have to add her to the cowardly rulers list!"

The sun started showing its ever bright asshole self out of the corner of her eyes, so she had to interrupt her crazy train of thoughts just for something else to take the center stage. She slammed her balcony doors shut, but not hard enough to break the glass. The doors were locked, the curtains were draped so no light could get in. The aroma of Pomegranate filled the room as her candle burned. Even with such a calming atmosphere, her body would not allow her to rest. The slime was warm and comforting, yet just like her nature.. it wasn't enough.  
Feelings of shame washed over her as she felt her eyes watering up. How pathetic. The girl with it all crying by herself.  
She would never admit it to anyone's face but she was in fact afraid.  
She was so very very afraid.  
Every time she woke up, she was afraid someone else would take her place. Someone else stealing what she worked so hard for. Her Imperial Condescension deciding to end her early. The masses not mourning her. She had to resign to these emotions. No matter what she did, there would always be fear in her heart. Her bonds were meaningless. 

It's hard. Growing up.  
It's hard and no one would ever come to understand her.


End file.
